Today is my original due date. And two weeks ago I was complaining. A lot. So much in fact, even I was getting annoyed with myself. I think Ryan started tuning me out and my voice became white noise to him.
Those who know me and know me well, know that I'm not the most patient person in the world. At 36 weeks, even I was egging Little One on to enter the world. I just couldn't wait any longer. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was the size of Shamu and nothing (and I mean nothing) would fit around my waist. Even walking became a challenge, our last trip around Morrisons two Fridays back was like doing the final mile of Mt. Kilimanjaro. I've never actually climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro but being pregnant can compare to the life of a Sherpa (the weight is just strapped to your front rather than your back).
So the 18th of November 2013 seemed light years ahead, I just couldn't wrap my head around it. In my third trimester I started telling people I knew Little One was going to be early. Like I had some sort of physic ability. The truth is, I thought if I said it enough it would happen. Turns out it worked!
I wanted to share my experience of childbirth because the only person who told me the honest truth about it (and we discussed it at length...many many times) was my friend Carol. Ryan has already briefed me on the sorts of things I shouldn't say. The things others said to me about their experience of labour, during my pregnancy that scared the bejeezers out of me and which I found, admittedly, a wee bit annoying.
I'm going to be honest. Perhaps a little too honest. But I feel this is my duty, as a woman and now as a mother of one. I'll share my story in parts and you, dear readers, can decide if you want to continue recounting my journey with me.
So let's begin...
They say that once you've had a baby you forget, almost immediately, the pain you felt (why else would woman have a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth...you get the idea).
They lie.
They say that in some parts of the world, a pregnant woman will give birth to her baby, strap him or her to her body and continue working in the fields.
Really?
Has this ever been documented? I'd like to see actual footage of a woman, in a field, giving birth to her baby and then strapping said baby to her body and continue hoeing the field for next years harvest. Until then, this remains an myth.
They say that everybody has their own birthing experience and that no two labours are the same.
This is true.
As woman; we think, dress, speak, live, love as individuals. We are unique. And how we give birth to our young is no different. It's completely unique. And honest to God, you have no idea how you might handle labour and the entire birthing experience until you are in the throes of it all. Throughout my pregnancy this was the part that I feared the most. It drove me to tears.
Then we watched one of these 'One Born Every Minute' type shows. It was the only one Ryan and I watched together and I remember laughing uncontrollably at his reaction at a baby being born face up rather than face down. But it was the words of a wise midwife that stuck with us both, she said that "anxiety causes fear, fear causes pain" and that stuck in my head during my final weeks. If I wasn't anxious then I wouldn't fear the inevitable. Everyday I'd say to myself; my body is built to do this naturally.
My entire experience rejuvenated my belief in a higher power, call it what you will, I choose to call him God. I don't believe in coincidence, nothing really happens by chance. In the days running up to the birth of Oscar the stars aligned.
And while the actual experience hurt - think giving birth to a baby hedgehog, whilst nursing the worst hangover of your entire life, on an empty stomach, while being shouted at by, what felt like, a team of crazed midwives...without being able to escape from the inevitable - it didn't even come close to how I had imagined it.
Carol, during my nine months of pregnancy, regularly kept telling me the same thing the Nuns told her "your baby is coming out the same way it went in".
'Aint that the truth!
....to be continued
 |
| ~ Taken on 18th November 2013: Ryan, Sharon and Oscar, 9 days old ~ |
No comments:
Post a Comment