Dream a little dream of you...

I dream. A lot. Vivid, colourful, beautiful and sometimes disturbing dreams. Before I found out I was pregnant, I'd often dream that I was looking after or holding a baby. Freud, if he were still alive, would tell me it was because babies were constantly sitting in my subconscious mind. He'd be right. Obviously. He's Freud!

In my dreams these babies never ever felt like mine. I adopted the role of a babysitter more than anything else. Since falling pregnant I've not had one dream that featured a baby; mine or otherwise. 

Until last night. 

It was a short dream. Which means that it came to me in the early hours this morning which is usually when the Little One stirs. Or stomps on my bladder. And this morning awakening from my dream was the very last thing I wanted to do. 

I was clearly holding our Little One. I know he was ours because my heart ached and swelled at the same time. And I didn't want to put him down. Not for a second. A sense of complete and utter calm that I'd not known before, embraced me from the pit of my stomach. I was trying to figure out how to feed him the way nature intended. And bless him he really tried but we just couldn't do it. I was starting to worry because I knew I had to get to work and this was taking ages to get right. And then I remembered I didn't have to go to work, I had all the time in the world and we'd work this out together. Flash forward to an unknown pharmacy in an unknown town, baby nestled in my chest and my husband by my side, who was successfully navigating his way through the array of baby formulas and plastic bottles on the shelves...with a little help from a friendly midwife behind the counter. Others stopped to peak at Little One and comment on how gorgeous he is. With a little dusting of fine dark hair and a perfect little face. Flash back to our bedroom, minus a crib, we try to position him amongst  a nest of pillows and cushions and he starts making little sounds and shaping his mouth into a perfect 'o'. He's clearly comfortable and drifts off to sleep and I just want to cuddle him more and never put him down. 

It's 06:12 and time to get up and I'm so sad to have to leave him behind but reality awaits. 

It's all I could talk about today and bumping into another pregnant friend at the office, who is due a week before me, I recall my dream for her and she leaves me with...

..."That's the best type of dream because you know that it's going to come true." ...