So we're exactly a month into our new roles as Oscars parents and what a month it has been! If he were old enough to critique our parental skills it would be around this time that we'd have a review. Or get him to complete a little survey and score our capabilities! Some of the questions could be "how would you rate your parents nappy changing skills?" or "on a scale of 1 to 5 would you say your baby needs are being met?" or "which milk source do you prefer, mommy-cow or formula-cow?".
Here are a few things that I've learnt so far;
It can take hours (sometimes an entire day) to get ready
One thing Ryan and I agreed on was making sure each other was able to have a shower and get dressed in the morning. I consider it an achievement if I'm able to have a shower before noon. I consider it a complete and utter miracle if I'm able to have a shower, wash my hair, get dressed and have breakfast. And it takes divine intervention for me to have a shower, wash my hair, straighten my hair, put on make-up, get dressed and have breakfast in under an hour. I know this because it has only happened once (yes, just once) in the last 30 days.
Babies don't come with a manual
You get more instructions with flat pack furniture from Ikea than you do with a tiny-human. In the early days (pre-hospital departure) I kept on asking the midwives how much should my tiny-human poop or eat or wee in a 24hr period. I know they told me the answer but even now I can't remember what it was. I just know that our tiny-human is alive and poops, eats and wees just fine. All the other stuff, Google seems able to solve just fine.
Having a child is the same as having a dog (according to my sister!)
Just yesterday, having lunch we overheard the couple next to us call their little boy Oscar...and obviously we had to engage in conversation. This happens ALL the time. Having a baby has made me a little more sociable with child-rearing strangers. This is apparently what dog owners do while walking them, which is where Kerry has drawn the comparison. I'm not convinced. But someone needs to create a website called www.compareachild.com. Oh wait they have...it's called Mumsnet.
It's possible to forget your child's name
I shouldn't really tell this story, but I will. On the bus recently, I struck up a conversation with a child-rearing stranger who told me his little girl was called Isla, "what's your little boys name?" he asked me. I looked at him blankly for a split second longer than I should've before saying "oh his name is Har...Oscar". Hopefully this won't happen often and should serve as a warning to parents-to-be; have a short list, not a long short list of potential names for your tiny-human. (Harry was on our long short list)
Mothers know best...even mine!
My second night in hospital left Oscar and I completely exhausted. I broke the first rule and cuddled him in bed with me and the two of us fell fast asleep. My alarm went off at the designated time for his feed and rather than wake my sleeping baby I thought it was best for him to carry on sleeping. Mother knows best. The next morning I was greeted by a midwife who didn't take to lightly that there was a tiny-human sleeping in my bed and even less so that it had been four hours since his last feed "tiny-humans need feeding every three to four hours as they'll get jaundice if they don't" came her stern warning. When my Mom arrived two days later she rubbished the advice given by the midwife and told me "Oscar will cry when he's hungry, that's when you need to feed him and ALL babies get jaundice.". So we stopped watching the clock and just make sure Oscar doesn't sleep for longer than five hours at a time.
Being on maternity leave has sparked my inner inventor
They say that your brain switches gear when you're away from your normal day-to-day role. Woman on maternity leave are more creative, inventive etc. And this is true! So far I have had an idea for a best-selling book, a new type of maternity bra and thought of very creative meals to create from left overs. It's the ideas I have during the 4am feed that are a little worrying though. It's usually around this time that my ideas take on a life of their own. Like the idea I had for keeping Oscars pacifier firmly in his mouth - surely duct-tape would do the trick? Placed directly under his nose obviously.
We actually have a son
I know this shouldn't really come as a surprise. I did carry him for nine months after all. But it wasn't until a short time ago when I walked into our GP's surgery to register Oscar that the words passed my lips; I have a son. I have a son who needs to be registered with the GP. I climbed back into the car, with my son in the back seat and turned to his father, "We have a son. Not just a baby boy, an actual son.".
Wow.
The small stuff remains just that...small
There is that age old saying about not sweating the small stuff. My friend Carol practically beat this into me during my pregnancy as I would get so annoyed, irritated and just fed-up about really small things. It all seemed really big to me at the time. But Carol is a Mom and her baby Kyle is 25yrs old so she knows what's she talking about. And in the moments that I have been on my own with Oscar I have drowned myself in just taking him all in. There is no mountain too high, or river too long or dragon too scary that I wouldn't climb, swim or slay for our little boy. Everything else is small in comparison.
I'm one of THOSE mothers
The mothers that used to annoy the crap out of me with the constant noise about how amazing/brilliant/life-changing it all is. The ones who overshare everything about their offspring. Who post thousands of pictures and updates. Who think they're the only one on the planet that has created a tiny-human. One thing I will never be is one of THOSE mothers who refers to my child as DS (translation = darling son). A DS are two letters that usually come after the word Nintendo. And I hopefully won't be using that word for a very long time.
Groundhog Day
Remember that movie where the guy wakes up to the same radio tune, in the same bed, wearing the same clothes and has exactly the same day that he had the day before? Well welcome to the life as a new mother! The only thing that changes is Oscar. He gets a little heavier. He gets a little more illuminated. He starts to come into his own. Life is predictable. And I like it. The day absolutely flies by. It's a whirlwind of feeds, extractions, changes, steaming, crying, winding and napping. As we approach midnight and pumpkin-hour; we hit reboot and get to do it all again the next day. But hopefully I'm wearing different clothes!
I've learnt a lot. More than I thought I would in this amount of time. I've also learnt about unconditional love. The love I have for our little baby boy is a love I've not known before. It's an unselfish, drop-what-you're-doing type of love.
But let's face it...Oscar is an easy child to love unselfishly.
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