1. I identify with wildlife more...particularly the Hippo
Why the hippo? Because I know why they spend 96% of their lives in water and I wish I could too. Obviously I'm packing on the pounds being pregnant - I'd be worried if I didn't. It wasn't until I found myself in a body of water (i.e. the pool at the spa) that I became acutely aware of how much weight I'd actually gained. Getting out of the pool required (a lot) of effort.
2. Home pedicures have become obsolete
This used to be a part of my routine every second weekend, why pay £25 when I can do it at home for free and not have people laugh at my web toes (granted it's mostly Ryan that finds my web toes hysterical). Having grown a belly means that I can no longer bend in two to reach said toes. I've tried. And cut off my air supply. So I can't paint my toes or put on strappy sandals. Ryan has mastered this. The sandals, not the nail polish "because of the fumes."
3. Lady-like poses are a thing of the past
I think I passed this stage when I (over) shared about my issues with granny like flatulence. However having a belly means I can't cross my legs any longer, it's like trying not to squash a water-filled-ballon that's been placed neatly between my thighs. It 'aint happening!
4. Sleep deprivation starts looooong before you actually have a child
I feel I speak for Ryan with this one too because there is no way he sleeps through my tossing and turning as I try, unsuccessfully, to find a comfortable position. The weight of said belly means that rolling over without waking up is impossible and I have to swap sides because at some stage I lose all feeling in one side so rolling over is mandatory. Don't get me started on the trips to the loo either. I'm now trying to co-ordinate my pee breaks with my position change.
5. It takes 15min longer to get ready...this is because of all the cream!
I started using stretch-mark cream the week I found out I was pregnant. I've now have leg/foot cream to help reduce the puffiness. And boob cream because I'm sure if anything is going to get stretched, it's these babies. Going from a 34B to a 38C is not normal. Then I still have my normal routine of applying body butter and moisturiser.
6. Other people have claimed our baby as theirs
It started at work. Little One is called 'Team Baby' and it snowballed from there. The ladies in the canteen at work (and lets face it, I spend more time there then behind my desk), love nothing more than giving my tummy a rub and asking "how's my baby boy doing today?". My friend Carol calls him "her child" and will often tell me off if I'm behaving inappropriately around "her child". I'm pretty sure when Little One is born it will be her voice he will be most familiar with. Carol is my unofficial Doula and dishes out great parental advice which often has me on the floor in stitches trying not to wet myself.
7. I'm overtaken by the elderly when walking...anywhere
I can't walk as fast as I used to. This has become more noticeable each week when we do our Saturday shop because we now pay for an hour instead of our usual thirty minutes. And stairs? Well lets just say that there is a small lift that can fit two people at our local tube station and more often than not, I'm one of the two people in there. I generally share it with Dot, an 86yr woman from up the road.
8. Talking to myself means I'm less weird now
If I'm working from home I could have a full conversation with Little One during the day. I talk about what we should have for dinner or perhaps something that I've found funny. When he kicks and moves about, I provide the running commentary about what he could possibly be doing in there. I used to talk to myself before I was pregnant, well, I'd mostly pretend I was being interviewed on Oprah as she interviewed me for her book club and we'd compare who should play me in a movie about my life. Doesn't everyone do that?
All in all; we're now 14 weeks away from becoming parents and each day I'm filled more with excitement than I am with dread at how our lives are going to change. Everyone goes through their very own personal journey when they're pregnant and I'm a little sad that I've only got 14 weeks to go because, all in all, it's been magical and miraculous so far.
Little One, Mommy and Daddy can't wait to meet you.
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