11 Weeks...

Anyone who can count will see it's been a little while since my last post. I've been in a little slump as part of me was very worried that things would not work out as they should. 

They say (have no idea who 'they' is...but anyway) that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Which is very sad. I know of 3 people who've gone through this in the past 6 months. One, sadly on the day that I went to the doctor to confirm my own pregnancy.

It wasn't until someone that I'm close to at work suffered her own last week. She was just 5 weeks pregnant but no matter. Loss is loss and it's painful nonetheless.  It was a turning point for me though, I'm deeply sorry that it was as her expense, because something very deep inside said "it's going to be okay". It may have been God. It may have been this little unborn person, who is officially a fetus this week (which means 'little one') but since last week I feel much more 'attached' to the idea of parenthood. 

 

We'll be seeing you...

After giving it some thought we've decided to pay for a private scan rather than wait until I'm 12 weeks to have the NHS sponsored one. I can't wait that long! This is my first real experience with the NHS as both Ryan and I have private medical cover...neither of which cover anything to do with pregnancy which seems a little illogical. So we'll have to fork out for anything we want to do privately. Apparently you have two scans on the NHS and that's it!

Scan booked for this Saturday at 13:00. Looking forward to seeing the nugget then :)

I also made the mistake of watching "One Born Every Minute" which has now left me emotionally scared for life...or until late November. 

Little One...seeing & hearing your heartbeat for the first time is something I will never forget as long as I live.

6 Weeks...

The Easter Weekend is over and we've finally been able to tell our immediate family our exciting news.

Damn YouTube though! Since TTC (trying to conceive) I'd busy myself and kill hours on the weekends looking at how others had broken the news to their nearest and dearest. Some of the clips made me weep. Even after seeing them for the 20th time! At one point earlier this year (between Jan 5 - 10 to be precise), I thought I would jump on a plane and fly to South Africa when news broke and deliver the message in person. 'Surprise' Mom and Dad! And load it on YouTube. But reality is...real life...we have real commitments. I'm now really pregnant to. And the thought of venturing too far from home makes me feel uneasy (I'm told this is normal).

So then I thought: how could I tell them and make it really special. I came up with various ideas, both as nutty as the next. As Ry pointed out, all my ideas were very public, so if I ventured down the creative arts route, I'd need to be past the 12 week mark. Hell. And No. I could barely wait this long to tell them so taking 6 weeks x 2...there was no way I could wait that long.

So we told Kez and Mornay on Easter Saturday (30/03). And then worked through the rest of the family; Melanie, Mom, Steven, Dad, Mel & Desray, Margo & Andre, Sean. We will tell Jimmy when they get back from SA this weekend. The only one on the ball was Steve, who pointed out that we told them on 01/04. Was this a joke? That would be cruel. So no. We're not having you all on.

Yesterday was a very emotional day. Not being able to give everyone a big when we told them was very hard. I felt saddest for my Dad as he was all on his own (sorry Daddy) and had a good ol' cry when I climbed into bed. That and my hormones are making me a little unpredictable (I'm told this is also normal).

It's early days so we want to be cautiously optimistic that everything will be okay before sharing the news with our other friends later in May. 

Our journey to parenthood has begun