5 Weeks...

Amazon have delivered my first proper book called "Your Pregnancy Bible" can't wait to get stuck into it.

A Quick ReCap: 10 Days On...

Sunday 10th March

I'd been feeling 'off' for a couple of days. Out of sorts and emotional (nothing unusual there) that was until I teared up at work, in a meeting. So I did a test when I woke up and the faintest of faint lines appeared in the 'T' zone. It was almost invisible so Ryan had to give it a second look. Yup, he agreed it was very light but it was there.

We forgot about it and decided to do another test in a couple of days as my cycle was due to start on Monday.

A Little Background: we'd decided, while in New York on holiday the previous Sept/Oct '12, that it was time to start a family. We'd known a couple of people who were struggling and we were/are in a good place as a married couple. I stopped taking the pill during our trip and our journey to start a family begun.

See...you can hardly see it! This is actually the second or third test we did.

Tuesday 11th March

During a quick chat with my Mom this evening I revel all my symptoms (teary, sore breasts, tired etc). She says "Angel it sounds like you just might be pregnant. Let me know what happens tomorrow."

Wednesday 13th March

I wake up a little earlier than normal and head straight to the bathroom. I've now gotten so good at removing tests from foil packages, I can now do this one handed, with sleep in my eyes, in the pitch dark (more about that later). I use the second and last 'Sainsburys Own' pregnancy test.

I can't bare to wait for 3min in the loo, so I set the timer on my phone and head to the kitchen to start my morning coffee ritual. My phone lets me know when 3min are up. I head to the bathroom and the line in the 'T' zone is now bright blue. 'Aint nothing faint about it! I wake Ryan from his slumber, switching on the light so I can get his full attention.

We're stunned. Shocked and I'm convinced it's wrong. I won't be happy until I've done another test which I buy on my way to work. I end up getting 3 different brands (5 tests in total...I need to be 100% sure). I know I won't be able to wait until I get home so I end up doing a test at work as soon as I get in the building. It's positive.

I text Ryan with the news right away. And then lie to my Mom on email "false alarm". I don't want her to find out this way and not until I know how far gone I am (I can only be around 3 weeks, so it's VERY early days). I try as hard as I can to focus on work but I can't. I'm pregnant. I'm actually pregnant, up the duff, with child, knocked up and any other metaphor there is. Ryan and I agree not to tell anyone anything for the time being...that was after I told CJ at work (I just couldn't keep it to myself and she's a Mom...all the symptoms I have are totally normal according to CJ).

Exhausted after work, I sit in the reserved section on the tube while helping Angelique  (Jimmys beloved) with her suitcases, she's arrived in London to surprise Jimmy and they'll be heading to SA in a little over a week for a holiday. A man approaches me just as I've made myself comfortable with suitcases all around me, "Are you pregnant?" he asks...I'm stunned and I'm not moving "Yes. I am." I reply. Well, it's not a lie.

A Little Background: So, back in December '12 we bought a ClearBlue Fertility Monitor which basically tells you when your peak fertility days are. I peaked in December, the same day Ryan landed in SA to visit his parents & family after Christmas. Murphys Law! I peak in January and February and tell my GP Dr. Hays about said device, "put it in the bin, just try relax and make-love every second day, if things don't happen by June, come back and see me.". I relay the sex-education tips to Ryan, who couldn't agree more! And I defy the GP and use the last 10 test sticks, but after dropping tests sticks in the loo more often than not, opening them while half asleep, I decide the novelty of this little device has worn off and put it in the cupboard. I also start drinking again and switch off. It'll happen when it happens. 

Friday 15th March

It's my Grannys birthday today and I manage to secure an appointment with Dr. Hays at 4pm this afternoon. I've received an email from Kerry (my sister and best friend) overnight about plans for Monday evening. I end up leaving a voice mail reply for her and so badly want to tell her (Ryan and I have agreed that she and her husband Mornay can know). I'm able to focus more at work today and leave early to make it to my appointment.

I bump into Angelique again on the bus! I really need to learn how to think on my feet as she asks why I'm heading home early, "I'm feeling a little under the weather and need a lie down before we come to you for dinner" is the best I can think of. It's true, I feel like crap and I'm knackered but I don't have time for a lie down as it's 15:45. I need to get the car and get down to the GP.

The first words out of Dr. Hays mouth as I walk through her door is "And? You can only be here because...". Yes, I tell her, I think I'm pregnant. She's excited for me as she lifts her arms in celebration and I'm left with a little lump in my throat.

I'm pregnant. Four weeks. And Baby Bean Smethurst is due to arrive around the 20th November. An early Christmas gift of sorts.

I'm dying to tell my Mom now, but when I get her answering machine, I take that as a sign. I decide it's worth waiting a few more weeks just to be double double sure everything is okay. I know that her and my Dad would be heartbroken if anything happened and they weren't able to be here to support us/me.

Dinner with Jimmy and Angelique is lovely but a little tricky as I've already started to watch what I'm eating and avoiding certain things (shelfish, mayo, chocolate mousse, caffeine, wine etc). I think they're on to us.

Saturday 16th March

Nothing like a trip to Waterstones to check out baby books and a couple of hours on Pintrest to get you very excited about all things Baby related!

Sunday 17th March

My breasts remain very sore and tender. Hugging is becoming a little issue. Need to figure out how to master the air-hug for the next 8 weeks as to not give the game away.

I end up speaking to Mom, Dad and my best mate Janine and feel like a bit fat liar when saying "Nope, no news this end. Same old. Same old"...not sure I can keep this up for another 8 weeks!

Monday 18th March

Kez is coming to stay tonight and I'm not sure I can keep this secret. I so badly want to tell her but over the weekend we decide that it would be nice to tell her and Mornay when we stay with them over the Easter break.

Lips are sealed!

Tuesday 19th March

Travelling into work together, Kez says to me "...hurry up already, I want to be an Aunty". Be careful what you wish for big sister :-)

While sitting in a meeting at work a thought enters my head: there is a little being growing in my belly and I suddenly feel as if I'm part of my own little gang of two.

Wednesday 20th March

I'm starting to relax a little. My growing pains seem to have settled into a pattern already; the loo beckons about 12 times a day with my first wake up call at 4am. Cramps between 4pm - 7pm. And I can't keep my eyes open past 9:30pm. I've developed the thirst of a camel almost overnight (explains the double digit visits to the loo!).

Having dinner with my team tonight and I'm dreading how to fob off why I'm not drinking with them.